=] I'm home. muahahhaa. I can't believe I'm actually home, but it feels so natural.. almost like I never left. Only now, I have a greater appreciation of vegetables, cheap cheese, and ethnic food. And less appreciation for alcohol and smokers.
I've been trying to get my affairs in order: getting insurance, getting a phone, registering my car, all those little things I need to take care of.. I'm still waiting to be able to register my car, so I'm a bit transportation-less at the moment, which is a little frustrating. I've been pretty much sitting at home the last few days. So, if you'd like to take a little side detour out to my house in la habra, you're more than welcome.
On a side note, tonight I had a what-a-baby moment. I sliced open a head of cauliflower for my dinner... when I noticed the blood. I had cut in half a worm that was hiding inside. T_T i whimpered.. then I tried to clean it.. and gave up. grossed out, i ran away screaming, telling my mom to do it for me as i ran up the stairs.
thank God for moms.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
my achy breaky heart
It's officially one week before I head back to Cali.. well, Technically a few hours less than a week but you get my drift. =] I'm super excited, but I don't think I've fully realized that I'll be going home. I feel... restless; I really want to go home. I haven't really felt any regret or sadness yet.. Perhaps that's all brewing inside until my last few hours here.
I thought I'd share something with you all that I thought was rather remarkable.. Mind you, this involves some pretty embarrassing information on my part.. information that will probably stamp me a permanent spot in the losers' hall of fame.. but it's interesting nonetheless so I'll share it. :D
I was talking to.. I think Sarah darkness a few weeks ago about what it would take to keep me here another year in Korea. (I'm really really excited to go home.) I think we came to the conclusion that if my perfect guy (perfect at first glance, anyway.. as in incredibly handsome, rich, charming, the works..) asked me out on a date, then I might decide to sign on for another year in Korea. However, feeling preetttty freaking safe that the chances of that happening are slim to none, I was pretty sure I was going to be heading home in a few weeks time.
Now, here we are, a week before my departure, and nothing's changed... sort of.
Have any of you been to Korea? If you have, you know that it's pretty much... couples central. Couple tees. Couple cell phones. Campus couples. Cafes for couples.. ( A twosome place. Really? You had to single out us loners, eh?) Almost everything in the country screams "YOU SHOULD BE IN A RELATIONSHIP! WHY ARE YOU HERE ALONE?!" Every time I go somewhere alone, whether it be a cafe, or a restaurant or the market, I always manage to feel a little bit lonely because I'm usually surrounded by others in love.
I've had my ups and downs of lonliness in my life. I've never had a boyfriend.. never been on a date. never had my first kiss. (man this is embarassing..) and for the most part, I've been okay. I've been lonely, sometimes lonelier than at others, but being here in Korea has affected me a little bit more. A lot of my friends back at home are single.. Here, not so much. It also doesn't help that my students are constantly asking me if I have a boyfriend or am I "solo"? Am I married? How many boyfriends have you had? How old were you when you got your first kiss? Kids, your guess is as good as mine.
However, in the last few weeks, something rather remarkable.. (at least in my uneventful life) happened. twice. I was asked out.
hAHAHHAHA.A
Okay, so let me tell you what happened. The first time, I was exiting the subway station about to walk home, when this older guy.. (If I had to guess his age, I would say 33-35.) approached me and basically said that I was his ideal type and would I like to go have some coffee with him? He looked fairly normal, although.. old.. and kind of nerdy.. but I declined, and it was actually quite a feat to brush him off. The second time was about a week ago, when I was leaving my officetel heading for work when this guy who apparently lives in my building asked me for my number.. I told him I was leaving the country, though, and I haven't seen him since.
So what do I make of these two encounters? I think it's pretty amazing that in the midst of feeling lonely, while being in a country by myself.. being surrounded by signs of love and boyfriends/girlfriends, that my loving God takes the time to give me reassurance that he is, in fact, preparing someone for me, and that however undesirable I might believe myself to be, HE still loves me and tries to make me feel a little of that love.. in a more obvious way.
So thank you, Lord, for making my day. =]
I thought I'd share something with you all that I thought was rather remarkable.. Mind you, this involves some pretty embarrassing information on my part.. information that will probably stamp me a permanent spot in the losers' hall of fame.. but it's interesting nonetheless so I'll share it. :D
I was talking to.. I think Sarah darkness a few weeks ago about what it would take to keep me here another year in Korea. (I'm really really excited to go home.) I think we came to the conclusion that if my perfect guy (perfect at first glance, anyway.. as in incredibly handsome, rich, charming, the works..) asked me out on a date, then I might decide to sign on for another year in Korea. However, feeling preetttty freaking safe that the chances of that happening are slim to none, I was pretty sure I was going to be heading home in a few weeks time.
Now, here we are, a week before my departure, and nothing's changed... sort of.
Have any of you been to Korea? If you have, you know that it's pretty much... couples central. Couple tees. Couple cell phones. Campus couples. Cafes for couples.. ( A twosome place. Really? You had to single out us loners, eh?) Almost everything in the country screams "YOU SHOULD BE IN A RELATIONSHIP! WHY ARE YOU HERE ALONE?!" Every time I go somewhere alone, whether it be a cafe, or a restaurant or the market, I always manage to feel a little bit lonely because I'm usually surrounded by others in love.
I've had my ups and downs of lonliness in my life. I've never had a boyfriend.. never been on a date. never had my first kiss. (man this is embarassing..) and for the most part, I've been okay. I've been lonely, sometimes lonelier than at others, but being here in Korea has affected me a little bit more. A lot of my friends back at home are single.. Here, not so much. It also doesn't help that my students are constantly asking me if I have a boyfriend or am I "solo"? Am I married? How many boyfriends have you had? How old were you when you got your first kiss? Kids, your guess is as good as mine.
However, in the last few weeks, something rather remarkable.. (at least in my uneventful life) happened. twice. I was asked out.
hAHAHHAHA.A
Okay, so let me tell you what happened. The first time, I was exiting the subway station about to walk home, when this older guy.. (If I had to guess his age, I would say 33-35.) approached me and basically said that I was his ideal type and would I like to go have some coffee with him? He looked fairly normal, although.. old.. and kind of nerdy.. but I declined, and it was actually quite a feat to brush him off. The second time was about a week ago, when I was leaving my officetel heading for work when this guy who apparently lives in my building asked me for my number.. I told him I was leaving the country, though, and I haven't seen him since.
So what do I make of these two encounters? I think it's pretty amazing that in the midst of feeling lonely, while being in a country by myself.. being surrounded by signs of love and boyfriends/girlfriends, that my loving God takes the time to give me reassurance that he is, in fact, preparing someone for me, and that however undesirable I might believe myself to be, HE still loves me and tries to make me feel a little of that love.. in a more obvious way.
So thank you, Lord, for making my day. =]
Friday, October 29, 2010
The home stretch.
This is it! One more month to go. Four more weeks of teaching, then I'm outta here. I'll finally get to go home to sunny Southern California, where I belong.
Although this term has been pretty smooth so far, I still can't wait for it to be over. Generally, I have pretty good students. I have a masters class of middle school students who are so intelligent and articulate that it amazes me that I'm their teacher. I love to talk about different subjects with them.. culture, global issues, kpop.. Sometimes I feel like they're my younger peers. I'm really going to miss that class.
On the other hand, I do have a class I can't wait to be finished with. A lower level middle school class, half the class is comprised of teachers'-worst-nightmares students. They don't work, they don't listen to what I say, I don't think they understand half of the words that come out of my mouth.. I found out today that 2 of my three worst students have dropped out and the third told me today that he was also quitting. Although I was relieved, (I'm sure my classes are going to run much more smoothly from now on) I was also disappointed that I'd, essentially, failed to turn them into capable students. But for now, I'm just going to breathe a sigh of relief that I won't be spending most of my classtime yelling at them or trying to talk over them.
I've been thinking about how much money I've saved over the last year, though I've been trying not to. The high pay we English teachers receive in combination with the relatively low cost of living here in Korea has allowed me to accumulate a nice little chunk of savings over the year without even trying. (Although, a pretty extravagant lifestyle in the first half of the year has left me with less than some others I know. Hehe.) But I've been planning on doing something I've never done before: tithing.
I've had jobs before, and I know I should've tithed before. But with the credit card debt I'd accumulated over my college years, plus making minimum wage, equaled my being too desperate to use every dollar I'd earned. I never set aside that tenth to lift up to God. But now, I suppose I've finally become a true full-time, working adult. I make a solid earning, and I'm planning to tithe for the first time at the church I've been attending in Seoul before I leave for the States.
After I tithe, and after I pay back my dad for a loan he made me a few years ago, I am going to have... a lot less money. I'm trying not to think about it. I know I'm not supposed to worry about money. I know that what I give to God, he will return to me many many times over, but I can't help but think in the back of my mind.. "Dang it.. I really wanted to go to Spain." or "I really wanted to eat at that restaurant.."
And so Lord, would you give me trust and assurance that I don't need to worry about money. Would you continue to watch over my pocketbook and help me not to be so materialistic. (haha) And would you help me to trust that you'll show me all of your creation in due time. Amen.
How did this turn from a post into my last month in Korea to a post about money? Hmm.
Although this term has been pretty smooth so far, I still can't wait for it to be over. Generally, I have pretty good students. I have a masters class of middle school students who are so intelligent and articulate that it amazes me that I'm their teacher. I love to talk about different subjects with them.. culture, global issues, kpop.. Sometimes I feel like they're my younger peers. I'm really going to miss that class.
On the other hand, I do have a class I can't wait to be finished with. A lower level middle school class, half the class is comprised of teachers'-worst-nightmares students. They don't work, they don't listen to what I say, I don't think they understand half of the words that come out of my mouth.. I found out today that 2 of my three worst students have dropped out and the third told me today that he was also quitting. Although I was relieved, (I'm sure my classes are going to run much more smoothly from now on) I was also disappointed that I'd, essentially, failed to turn them into capable students. But for now, I'm just going to breathe a sigh of relief that I won't be spending most of my classtime yelling at them or trying to talk over them.
I've been thinking about how much money I've saved over the last year, though I've been trying not to. The high pay we English teachers receive in combination with the relatively low cost of living here in Korea has allowed me to accumulate a nice little chunk of savings over the year without even trying. (Although, a pretty extravagant lifestyle in the first half of the year has left me with less than some others I know. Hehe.) But I've been planning on doing something I've never done before: tithing.
I've had jobs before, and I know I should've tithed before. But with the credit card debt I'd accumulated over my college years, plus making minimum wage, equaled my being too desperate to use every dollar I'd earned. I never set aside that tenth to lift up to God. But now, I suppose I've finally become a true full-time, working adult. I make a solid earning, and I'm planning to tithe for the first time at the church I've been attending in Seoul before I leave for the States.
After I tithe, and after I pay back my dad for a loan he made me a few years ago, I am going to have... a lot less money. I'm trying not to think about it. I know I'm not supposed to worry about money. I know that what I give to God, he will return to me many many times over, but I can't help but think in the back of my mind.. "Dang it.. I really wanted to go to Spain." or "I really wanted to eat at that restaurant.."
And so Lord, would you give me trust and assurance that I don't need to worry about money. Would you continue to watch over my pocketbook and help me not to be so materialistic. (haha) And would you help me to trust that you'll show me all of your creation in due time. Amen.
How did this turn from a post into my last month in Korea to a post about money? Hmm.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
my familia.
(i like to change some words into spanish to make my titles seem cooler.)
I was reading a friend's blog post about her relationship with her mom and it made me want to cry. For two reasons:
1. My heart hurt for her and the pain she's felt over the years.
2. I missed my own mom and dad very much. And I realize how much they love and care for me.
I used to hate my mom. When I was growing up, she and I fought a lot.. I always ran to my dad for comfort and protection (literally.. ) and all of my friends were scared of her. Mostly, I think, because of stories I told them.. hehe..
However, as I've gotten older, and especially since I've lived outside of home, I've been able to take a step back and look at my mom and dad for who they are: two incredibly loving, supportive parents.
I should've known earlier how much they love me. Once when I was younger... I think I was in the second or third grade, my mom and I had gotten into a fight (over what, I have no idea) and I basically burst into tears and told her that she didn't love me. She burst into tears, grabbed me, and wrapped me into her arms, telling me how much she loved me. I think that was the first time I felt her love so... really? is that the word? It was real.
I've never had to worry about money. I've never had to worry about, really, anything in my life because I knew my parents were going to support me. They let me go to whatever school I wanted because of what I wanted to do. Even when I've made some incredibly idiotic mistakes in my life.. (some of which were very expensive) They've been been there to fix the problem for me. My dad used to sit by my side at night in high school when I couldn't sleep because of pain in my stomach.. for hours, into the morning.. then he would go to work. And not just one on occasion.. It was almost every night, for weeks.
I could go on and on. I have hundreds of stories of their love for me.. and I think being here in Korea has made me so much more appreciative of it. And not only because I'm far away from them, and I miss them. For another reason.
I've been experiencing Korean culture, and I'm not liking all of it. The drinking culture, the smoking culture, the hierarchy and respect thing.. It's all very disappointing to me. My rose-colored lenses about Korea are definitely shattered now. I've seen the typical, drunk Korean man and he's not a person I can gather much respect for. My father is the exact opposite of that. He doesn't drink or smoke. He shows his affection and love to me. He doesn't care that I don't speak to him formally, like some of my friends' parents do.. How could my parents have grown up in this environment and turned out the way they did? I don't know.
but in a word, how am I feeling?
Blessed.
I was reading a friend's blog post about her relationship with her mom and it made me want to cry. For two reasons:
1. My heart hurt for her and the pain she's felt over the years.
2. I missed my own mom and dad very much. And I realize how much they love and care for me.
I used to hate my mom. When I was growing up, she and I fought a lot.. I always ran to my dad for comfort and protection (literally.. ) and all of my friends were scared of her. Mostly, I think, because of stories I told them.. hehe..
However, as I've gotten older, and especially since I've lived outside of home, I've been able to take a step back and look at my mom and dad for who they are: two incredibly loving, supportive parents.
I should've known earlier how much they love me. Once when I was younger... I think I was in the second or third grade, my mom and I had gotten into a fight (over what, I have no idea) and I basically burst into tears and told her that she didn't love me. She burst into tears, grabbed me, and wrapped me into her arms, telling me how much she loved me. I think that was the first time I felt her love so... really? is that the word? It was real.
I've never had to worry about money. I've never had to worry about, really, anything in my life because I knew my parents were going to support me. They let me go to whatever school I wanted because of what I wanted to do. Even when I've made some incredibly idiotic mistakes in my life.. (some of which were very expensive) They've been been there to fix the problem for me. My dad used to sit by my side at night in high school when I couldn't sleep because of pain in my stomach.. for hours, into the morning.. then he would go to work. And not just one on occasion.. It was almost every night, for weeks.
I could go on and on. I have hundreds of stories of their love for me.. and I think being here in Korea has made me so much more appreciative of it. And not only because I'm far away from them, and I miss them. For another reason.
I've been experiencing Korean culture, and I'm not liking all of it. The drinking culture, the smoking culture, the hierarchy and respect thing.. It's all very disappointing to me. My rose-colored lenses about Korea are definitely shattered now. I've seen the typical, drunk Korean man and he's not a person I can gather much respect for. My father is the exact opposite of that. He doesn't drink or smoke. He shows his affection and love to me. He doesn't care that I don't speak to him formally, like some of my friends' parents do.. How could my parents have grown up in this environment and turned out the way they did? I don't know.
but in a word, how am I feeling?
Blessed.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
back again..
I'm feeling sheepish. =]
I started this blog with the full intent that I would keep it up. Write frequently.. with a new start, i would have new energy.
obviously, that failed. haha so i apologize, but I am BACK and ready to update you all (all five of you!) on my recent adventures.
Many many moons ago, my friends here in Ansan left me.. Jamie.. Audrey.. Meagan, Tommy.. all of them. haha. And although I miss them all terribly and would much rather they be here with me, I'm happy to report that life hasn't sucked completely here in Ansan since. I've gotten to know my other coworkers a little bit better, and I have two new teachers to chill with. One's from LA (yay!) and the other is from Boston..? It's been pretty good.
(Oh! Jenn had left too! I was supposed to meet with her and Grace before she left, but I hadn't been feeling well that day and totally failed them. Sorry Jenn.. but we will meet again in LA. =] )
However, I still can't wait to go home!! TWO MORE MONTHS! I'm super excited. Although it still feels a little far away, I realize that I only have about 8 more weekends here. It's gonna go by in a flash. I was talking to my dad the other day, and he asked me "don't you want to do any more sightseeing in Korea while you have the chance?" and in my impatience to go home, i replied.. "there's nothing left to see. There's nothing to do here.. " but I realize there is.. in fact a lot of stuff I still haven't done here. (hehe.) Lately, I've been having a lot of free time because of cancelled classes.. and instead of going out to venture and sightsee, I've been kind of just lounging about.. wasting my time. I should take advantage of my new found free time.. but i do so hate to go around alone..
Today, I took a bike ride around Ansan lake park and the library.. After picking up a few books to help me pass the time, I took a ride around. I thought I had been to the lake park before, and I'm pretty sure I had, but the lake park I saw today was BEAUTIFUL. It's a lot bigger than I had thought, and it was my first time riding around in the day, and I saw more than I ever had before. I only wish I had my camera because it was such a lovely day.. The weather was wonderful, there was a nice breeze, and it was just.. nice. and peaceful. I sat on a bench and started reading in this beautiful weather, when an elderly couple sat on the bench next to me.. and pulled out their radio. -_- They ruined my peace. After enduring their k-pop for about ten fifteen minutes (yes, even the elderly here listen to kpop), i hopped on my bike as if i were going to leave. i rode about 100 meters away and sat on another bench and continued my reading. (haha i think they saw me too..)
i recently took a short (4 night) trip to Thailand. =] It was muchos fun. Left Sunday morning, arrived Sunday night.. spent monday alone, and Jamie arrived on Tuesday morning. It was pretty chill, did a lot of eating, some sightseeing.. if you want to know more, ask me. =]
I guess that's about it for now. I'm gonna go reread The Witch of Blackbird Pond.
I started this blog with the full intent that I would keep it up. Write frequently.. with a new start, i would have new energy.
obviously, that failed. haha so i apologize, but I am BACK and ready to update you all (all five of you!) on my recent adventures.
Many many moons ago, my friends here in Ansan left me.. Jamie.. Audrey.. Meagan, Tommy.. all of them. haha. And although I miss them all terribly and would much rather they be here with me, I'm happy to report that life hasn't sucked completely here in Ansan since. I've gotten to know my other coworkers a little bit better, and I have two new teachers to chill with. One's from LA (yay!) and the other is from Boston..? It's been pretty good.
(Oh! Jenn had left too! I was supposed to meet with her and Grace before she left, but I hadn't been feeling well that day and totally failed them. Sorry Jenn.. but we will meet again in LA. =] )
However, I still can't wait to go home!! TWO MORE MONTHS! I'm super excited. Although it still feels a little far away, I realize that I only have about 8 more weekends here. It's gonna go by in a flash. I was talking to my dad the other day, and he asked me "don't you want to do any more sightseeing in Korea while you have the chance?" and in my impatience to go home, i replied.. "there's nothing left to see. There's nothing to do here.. " but I realize there is.. in fact a lot of stuff I still haven't done here. (hehe.) Lately, I've been having a lot of free time because of cancelled classes.. and instead of going out to venture and sightsee, I've been kind of just lounging about.. wasting my time. I should take advantage of my new found free time.. but i do so hate to go around alone..
Today, I took a bike ride around Ansan lake park and the library.. After picking up a few books to help me pass the time, I took a ride around. I thought I had been to the lake park before, and I'm pretty sure I had, but the lake park I saw today was BEAUTIFUL. It's a lot bigger than I had thought, and it was my first time riding around in the day, and I saw more than I ever had before. I only wish I had my camera because it was such a lovely day.. The weather was wonderful, there was a nice breeze, and it was just.. nice. and peaceful. I sat on a bench and started reading in this beautiful weather, when an elderly couple sat on the bench next to me.. and pulled out their radio. -_- They ruined my peace. After enduring their k-pop for about ten fifteen minutes (yes, even the elderly here listen to kpop), i hopped on my bike as if i were going to leave. i rode about 100 meters away and sat on another bench and continued my reading. (haha i think they saw me too..)
i recently took a short (4 night) trip to Thailand. =] It was muchos fun. Left Sunday morning, arrived Sunday night.. spent monday alone, and Jamie arrived on Tuesday morning. It was pretty chill, did a lot of eating, some sightseeing.. if you want to know more, ask me. =]
I guess that's about it for now. I'm gonna go reread The Witch of Blackbird Pond.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
JJiming-it Out.. but not really.
Guess where I am?
JJIMJILBANG. and it's eight in the morning.. and I have nothing to do.
Since this weekend is kind of Jamie's last weekend here in Korea before she has to start packing and getting ready to go, the girls decided to sleep over in Seoul. So Saturday evening, we went shopping, came to Itaewon to eat dinner, and now we're staying in the Hamilton Hotel's sauna...
I hate sleeping in saunas. It's uncomfortable, there're people all around you, it's either too hot or too cold.. people come in late at night and wake you up.. *sigh* I think i got a total of 4-5 hours of sleep last night. Don't think I'll be doing this again voluntarily any time soon.
Anyway, later today, we'll be doing more eating..maybe shopping.. I dunno.. but I don't know how long I'll last cause I'm still tired..
I keep thinking that I update this blog pretty regularly.. but now I realize it's already been two weeks since I've written. I'm sorry to all my loyal followers! (haha.. jk. there are like.. two of you.) But to be honest, there just isn't all that much to update on. I feel like I'm just trying to get through the weeks.. the months.. waiting until the time when I'll finally be able to go home.
My brother had been thinking several months earlier on whether or not he should come to Korea. Money's good, job searching back in the States sucks, and it's something to do. And even though I couldn't really recommend it to him, I was excited to have someone close.. esp family.. come here with me.. so I told him "Yay!" and "Come!" ... now I feel a little bad. but at least he decided not to come.. so it's all okay in the end,right? =]
Jamie's sitting next to me. She can't sleep either, and she's finished sweating it out, me thinks. What to do...
Okay. time to go.
JJIMJILBANG. and it's eight in the morning.. and I have nothing to do.
Since this weekend is kind of Jamie's last weekend here in Korea before she has to start packing and getting ready to go, the girls decided to sleep over in Seoul. So Saturday evening, we went shopping, came to Itaewon to eat dinner, and now we're staying in the Hamilton Hotel's sauna...
I hate sleeping in saunas. It's uncomfortable, there're people all around you, it's either too hot or too cold.. people come in late at night and wake you up.. *sigh* I think i got a total of 4-5 hours of sleep last night. Don't think I'll be doing this again voluntarily any time soon.
Anyway, later today, we'll be doing more eating..maybe shopping.. I dunno.. but I don't know how long I'll last cause I'm still tired..
I keep thinking that I update this blog pretty regularly.. but now I realize it's already been two weeks since I've written. I'm sorry to all my loyal followers! (haha.. jk. there are like.. two of you.) But to be honest, there just isn't all that much to update on. I feel like I'm just trying to get through the weeks.. the months.. waiting until the time when I'll finally be able to go home.
My brother had been thinking several months earlier on whether or not he should come to Korea. Money's good, job searching back in the States sucks, and it's something to do. And even though I couldn't really recommend it to him, I was excited to have someone close.. esp family.. come here with me.. so I told him "Yay!" and "Come!" ... now I feel a little bad. but at least he decided not to come.. so it's all okay in the end,right? =]
Jamie's sitting next to me. She can't sleep either, and she's finished sweating it out, me thinks. What to do...
Okay. time to go.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Schedules and finger pain.
Why is it that i can't sleep through the night unless I have someone staying with me?
When my mom came over, I slept. Every night, one or two in the morning til eleven or twelve. When Alice was here, I did even better! Midnight or one, til eight or nine in the morning.
Now, I can't sleep through six straight hours for the life of me.
Typical night schedule: get home around 11 or so, probably after eating dinner with my coworker(s). Go upstairs, turn on AC, cool down, go online.. accidentally fall asleep around 1 before I've showered.. wake up at 3. Can't fall back asleep.. go online for several hours. Finally go back to sleep in the morning, round 8 or 9.. wake up just in time (sometimes barely) for work, arrive exhausted..
Which is why it is now 7:30 in the morning on Saturday and I'm writing in my blog. I have work in about six hours.
I have no idea how I'm going to switch to a normal schedule once I get home. Maybe the whole jetlag/ time difference thing will help me out.
In other news, I went to the doctor a few days ago for a checkup, and also cause my finger was killing me. It was one of the most frustrating/emotionally exhausting mornings of my life. I went to the doctors office by my place, but it was on holiday for the week. I went to the local hospital, but the sheer amount of people was daunting.. I knew I would be waiting for hours.. then when I get to the receptionist, she tells me I can't meet with a doctor until i do something, and I had no idea what she was talking about.. something about test and go there and do something..
I wanted my mommy. No, really. I was so frustrated, I was in pain. I felt like crap.. I had never been more homesick in my eight months here in Korea than that moment, walking out of the hospital, wondering where to go.
I took a cab, not knowing where to go.. had him drop me off at a nearby subway station.. then suddenly remembered a hospital (a small one, more like a multiple-doctors office) that I usually pass by when I walk home from the station. So, i headed there.
I met with the doctor, all was well, I stopped my baby-ass crying.
Turns out my finger, that I had broken freshman year of college playing flag football, was inflamed at the joint, which was why it was hurting so bad. I got some pills, and started some rounds of physical therapy, which consists of icing my finger, my therapist working the joint a bit to "improve mobility", some electric pulses running through my arm, and a final treatment of laser on my wrist. I've gone twice, at least 3 more to go.
On a side note, I think I met the one Korean in Korea that I would ever consider dating: my physical therapist. (haha..) Main reason, he's NORMAL. He doesn't have crazy hair, and the only thing I see him wearing are medical scrubs, so I don't know if he usually wears super tight skinny jeans and peach colored blazers. Also, he's really nice. And outgoing. We talk about Korea and the States, while he practically re-breaks my finger. However, the mere fact that he's Korean, and lives in Korea, voids him in my book. I'm going HOME, dammit, and unless you're coming with me, no thanks.
Anyway, I've showered, got my ice pack ready to numb my finger, and I"m gonna see how much more sleep I can get before I have to go to work. =]
So adieu, to all of you. nite.
When my mom came over, I slept. Every night, one or two in the morning til eleven or twelve. When Alice was here, I did even better! Midnight or one, til eight or nine in the morning.
Now, I can't sleep through six straight hours for the life of me.
Typical night schedule: get home around 11 or so, probably after eating dinner with my coworker(s). Go upstairs, turn on AC, cool down, go online.. accidentally fall asleep around 1 before I've showered.. wake up at 3. Can't fall back asleep.. go online for several hours. Finally go back to sleep in the morning, round 8 or 9.. wake up just in time (sometimes barely) for work, arrive exhausted..
Which is why it is now 7:30 in the morning on Saturday and I'm writing in my blog. I have work in about six hours.
I have no idea how I'm going to switch to a normal schedule once I get home. Maybe the whole jetlag/ time difference thing will help me out.
In other news, I went to the doctor a few days ago for a checkup, and also cause my finger was killing me. It was one of the most frustrating/emotionally exhausting mornings of my life. I went to the doctors office by my place, but it was on holiday for the week. I went to the local hospital, but the sheer amount of people was daunting.. I knew I would be waiting for hours.. then when I get to the receptionist, she tells me I can't meet with a doctor until i do something, and I had no idea what she was talking about.. something about test and go there and do something..
I wanted my mommy. No, really. I was so frustrated, I was in pain. I felt like crap.. I had never been more homesick in my eight months here in Korea than that moment, walking out of the hospital, wondering where to go.
I took a cab, not knowing where to go.. had him drop me off at a nearby subway station.. then suddenly remembered a hospital (a small one, more like a multiple-doctors office) that I usually pass by when I walk home from the station. So, i headed there.
I met with the doctor, all was well, I stopped my baby-ass crying.
Turns out my finger, that I had broken freshman year of college playing flag football, was inflamed at the joint, which was why it was hurting so bad. I got some pills, and started some rounds of physical therapy, which consists of icing my finger, my therapist working the joint a bit to "improve mobility", some electric pulses running through my arm, and a final treatment of laser on my wrist. I've gone twice, at least 3 more to go.
On a side note, I think I met the one Korean in Korea that I would ever consider dating: my physical therapist. (haha..) Main reason, he's NORMAL. He doesn't have crazy hair, and the only thing I see him wearing are medical scrubs, so I don't know if he usually wears super tight skinny jeans and peach colored blazers. Also, he's really nice. And outgoing. We talk about Korea and the States, while he practically re-breaks my finger. However, the mere fact that he's Korean, and lives in Korea, voids him in my book. I'm going HOME, dammit, and unless you're coming with me, no thanks.
Anyway, I've showered, got my ice pack ready to numb my finger, and I"m gonna see how much more sleep I can get before I have to go to work. =]
So adieu, to all of you. nite.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
NOOOOO, DON'T GO!!
August 20th. A day which will live in infamy.. in other words, the day that Jamie Chiu will be leaving my life here in Korea.
AAGGGHH!!
Today, I come into work, and in walks Jamie, clicking her high heels with a little more bounce in her step than usual... and it would be mere moments before I find out why.. She found out her official end date with us at CDI Ansan. August 20th.
I don't know what I'm going to do here without her! She was my first friend here in Ansan. She was the one who took me in.. took me out, showed me where to go, how to use the subway.. She took me on my first Myungdong trip, showed me where Homeplus was.. (And if you don't know how much I love Homeplus, you don't know me at all!) Basically, she's very important to me here.
And she's leaving. Along with pretty much everyone else I care about here in Ansan. (i.e. Audrey..) And I'll be here for another three months with only new teachers to play with.
I guess it's about time I introduced you to my closest friends here.
Meet Jamie:
She's Chinese-Australian.. Born in Hong Kong, raised in Ghana, moved to Australia to live with her younger brother. She's got an accent that's a mix of Australian and Chinese, uses words like "heaps" (which i've become quite fond of..) and uses "biscuits" to describe cookies. "Jumpers" to describe jackets. She's part tomboy, part girly-girl, and she's almost constantly painting her nails. She has some of the most beautiful legs I've ever seen, and I've adopted her as my girlfriend in Korea. (hahaha i sound totally lesbo) She'll totally share her pack of digestives with you, even if it's the only thing she's brought with her to eat. Everyone loves her because "she's always down for anything."
Also, she's one of the kindest, most open, and most welcoming people I've ever met.
Meet Audrey:
Typical southern girl from South Carolina. =] Previously hails from Virginia, I believe.. She's got blond-brunette hair, which she dyed blonder a few months ago..(her roots are showing..haha) She plays guitar, writes songs. Listens to bluegrass but has a long list of hiphop and rap on her ipod. She's going to spend the next year leading fellowship/biblestudy/counseling for a campus Christian ... community..club? After she gets back home. She likes to cook. She's the kind of person you wouldn't mind sharing ice cream with. soft serve. And she feels no hesitation about pulling off a piece of cheese with her fingers and sticking it in your mouth. (haha) That's just the kind of person she is.
She's extremely warm hearted and loving, always gives you the benefit of the doubt, always tries to see the best in people.
I consider myself super lucky and truly blessed to have met these two girls.. Girls who will invite me over to watch Grey's Anatomy at two in the morning..They'll cook dinner for me just because they can. Girls who will go out to eat with me even at eleven o clock, after work. Girls who I can have bible study with.. Girls who I can share my feelings/problems with, and I know they'll comfort and pray for me, rather than judge me.
One of my coworkers said to me a few months ago (mike, this is you) that he believes in something like an international friendship barrier. When you meet someone abroad, the factor that seals in whether or not you'll keep in touch for a long long time, even while living in separate countries, is if you visit each other. Now, I think I am going to visit one or both of them.. either on the east coast, or in Hong Kong or Australia.. but I honestly can't imagine not keeping in touch with them, even if we never do get to meet up again.
So these are my girls in Ansan.
So to Jamie and Audrey.. DONT LEAVE ME! YOU CAN LIVE WITH ME! RENT FREE! I'LL EVEN PAY FOR UTILITIES!
::ahem:: i mean.. Girls, I love you lots, let's make the most of our last month together. =] And you guys are always welcome at my place.
Friday, July 9, 2010
I'm Stressed.
Sort of..
I was fine, up until about five hours ago. You see, About a month ago, I was named Head Instructor at my workplace.. (I think it's mostly because I can speak Korean and I probably won't fight the management..I don't really like to ruffle feathers..) But since receiving that post, it's been harder to do my job.
Let me explain.
In my very first week as HI, we received four new instructors. This means four new people who need to be trained, shown around the city.. They need bank accounts, they need cell phones.. internet.. they need to know how to sort their trash.. And if it was just left at that, that's fine. I can help them.. but then, it turns into.. they're having trouble with classroom management. They don't know how to discipline their kids. They don't know how to teach the material. Students are saying the classes are boring.
I don't even know how to fix those problems in my own classes.
Problem solving has never been one of my strong points. I don't think of myself as much of a creative thinker.. thinking outside the box. Coming up with good solutions to problems in my workplace. In the past month and a half, I've heard so many problems our workplace is having. Financial issues. Student Retention. Classroom Management. Ideas for Intensive classes. But I have no idea how to solve these issues, nor am I even sure I want to. Sure, I can spend hours watching CCTV (which is what I'm supposed to be doing..) to figure out what's wrong in someone's class. I can sit in my room and think of ideas to make money for the company and to keep our students enrolled. But partly due to laziness and partly due to my own inadequacy in dealing with these situations, I haven't given much thought to solutions.
I guess, though, that this is just like any other situation I'm bound to have in my career. This is a situation that needs a solution. Whether it's figuring out how to keep the students from quitting or how to get customers into the door, or how to keep a restaurant's food cost percentage low.. It's all problem solving. Using my under-exercised brain for once. Also, it's leadership. It's the leader who figures out how to fix things and helps to implement new plans. It's a trait I've got to learn some time or another.
So back to five hours ago. I was informed that certain teachers are getting more and more complaints that their classes are boring. They are writing in their daily reports that they're finding it very difficult to manage their students, and they don't know what to do. I was also told that starting next week, I would have to read each and every daily report, solve the problems with the individual teachers, then report back to management what action has been taken.
Also, as HI, I'm supposed to be watching videos of my teachers in class, then reviewing it with them, giving pointers and other feedback. I haven't even begun to do this. I guess I should start tomorrow.
I guess the enormity of the number of issues that I have to deal with is making me feel a little overwhelmed. And there's another thing. Past HI's have told me and continue to tell me not to let them take advantage of me. Don't do everything they say, just because they're management. Don't let them push me around. The problem is, how am I supposed to know what's within my duties as HI and what isn't? How am I supposed to know if it's something they're pushing onto me because they can, when so far everything sounds like it could reasonably be included in my job description?
Maybe it's my naivete.. Not being experienced enough.. Never thinking that such nice people could possibly take advantage of me. Maybe it's just a different work culture. Koreans are hard working people, after all. Maybe it's expected of me to put in all these extra hours, fixing these problems. Sometimes when people tell me not to do something, that it's not my responsibility, I can't help but think, "But it's okay. I don't mind helping out a little bit.. Maybe you're just negative."
I'm finding it harder and harder to distinguish between someone being knowledgeable about work or the world and them just being negative. So you say everyone at work is an idiot. They don't think. They're not fit for their jobs.. Is it them, or is it you? I really don't know.
So tomorrow, as I go in to work on a Saturday.. (sigh..) I guess I'll have to start figuring out for myself.
The tone of the first two posts in this blog so far haven't been very cheerful.. Hopefully that's about to change.
I'm not even sure if this post made any sense..
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The Very First.
I've held fast to my xanga page for years. I've refused to let it go; it holds memories of my life.. insignificant thoughts, recaps of days spent with friends.. but seeing as how I haven't updated it in months, (and it was months before that last post, too..) I guess it's time to finally let go. Good Bye, Xanga. It's been a good run.
I'm not even sure if I'm going to show this blog to any of my friends. I'm not certain how intimate I'm going to get here.. how many emotions I'm going to let out.. how much I'm going to share. but I realize.. I do need a new outlet for my feelings, thoughts, memories, rants, reviews,... etc.
I've never been much of a writer. I didn't make it to my city's magnet school in junior high because of my writing scores. But I'm convinced that this time.. (This time!) I'll make an effort. I'll put more work, more care into it. It won't be simply a random stream of thoughts.. (Maybe I shouldn't promise that here..so soon..)
I've always tried to keep a diary, but I've never been able to keep it up. For one, I hate writing, physically. It cramps my hand, my script gets messier and uglier, less legible.. and I always seem to give up on my hand before my head is completely empty. So I guess that's where this blog comes in. I want to record my life, before I'm sixty years old and wondering what I did in my twenties.
I just realized that I started the last five paragraphs with "I".
Anyway, an update.
I've been here in Korea for about 7.5 months know. It's insane. I feel like I've been here for years. forever. But at the same time, I can remember how it smelled in the hotel I was staying in my first week here. I remember my first few weeks in my new officetel, eating rice and side dishes my aunt made for me. Time flies and crawls by at the same time. What an enigma.
During month 4 and 5, I had some serious homesickness. I missed my room, my house, my family, my friends.. my church, the mexican restaurant next to my church.. (Nachos special with rice and onions...) I was sick of Korea: the food, the weather. the language barrier, the cultural differences. everything. I just wanted to be home, back in familiar surroundings.. eating food that I missed.. produce that was cheap.. on an on and on.. and now I just sound like I'm ranting.
I've come to grow complacent, I think. I'm pretty content. Sure I have to travel an hour and a half by subway to get some cilantro, but at least it's here. Okay, so limes are a dollar each and avocados, four, but I can get them. I've learned to ignore the men who leer at you at night, the smell of soju on every man in the vicinity, once it's reached eight o'clock.. the vomiting.. the spit.. the smoking..
okay, maybe I haven't.
I need to rant: Korea seriously sometimes bugs me. Everyone, and I mean.. EVERYONE smokes. Men. Women. Grandfathers.. children... (i kid... but only half kidding. I know some of my students smoke. And if they don't, they're on their way) They smoke in restaurants. in bars. on the street. in the hallways. IN THE BATHROOMS. it drives me insane. I can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke, especially when it's being blown in your face by the person in the next booth at the bar or restaurant.. so to be in a nation that is united in its smoking habits is a bit frustrating.
Also, the drinking. It seems to be a national past time to eat chicken and drink beer and soju. And not even at night.. at like.. seven, eight o clock. And everyone gets pissed. They're stumbling.. throwing up.. spitting everywhere.. friends are hauling people home.. and I haven't even gotten off work yet. Did I mention I was thrown up on? (On a bus, coming home from a quick weekend trip with my coworkers.. maybe I'll recap it sometime. I'm trying to forget that moment in my life.. ) So yeah. the drinking here bugs me.
Also, I hate how judgmental Koreans are. They judge you on everything. Your clothes. Your food. Your shoes. Your job. Wearing a V-neck top? You must be a slut. (On the other hand, you can wear booty shorts in the dead of winter and be a normal, chaste Korean.) Oh, your bag's not LV? Obviously, you don't care about fashion. (Everything's knockoff anyway..) and they STARE. Koreans have no shame in staring. If they see an anomaly.. (bare shoulders.. a foreigner.. an overweight person..) they will straight up turn their bodies to stare at said anomaly until their eyes are satisfied.
Now, although I am writing and ranting about Korea as a whole, of course that is only one side of the picture. I have met some amazing, kind people. Coworkers, church friends, and others who have made it worthwhile to stay in the country.
And I love other things about this country. If you go a restaurant, 99% of the time, the service will be amazing. They will be attentive, courteous, kind. You almost never have to tip, and if you do, it's ten percent. included in the bill already. You can ride a taxi for a good ten minutes and pay 3-4 bucks. The internet is super fast, and I got a free cell phone with my plan that lets me watch tv, use the internet, and find my route on the subway.
I guess there's a balance to everything. The States. Korea.. they both have their ups and downs.
I guess as a first post to this blog, this introduction to Korea was appropriate. Now, seeing as how it's almost three in the morning and I have dishes to clean, I guess this will have to be it today.
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