The Very First.

I've held fast to my xanga page for years. I've refused to let it go; it holds memories of my life.. insignificant thoughts, recaps of days spent with friends.. but seeing as how I haven't updated it in months, (and it was months before that last post, too..) I guess it's time to finally let go. Good Bye, Xanga. It's been a good run.

I'm not even sure if I'm going to show this blog to any of my friends. I'm not certain how intimate I'm going to get here.. how many emotions I'm going to let out.. how much I'm going to share. but I realize.. I do need a new outlet for my feelings, thoughts, memories, rants, reviews,... etc.

I've never been much of a writer. I didn't make it to my city's magnet school in junior high because of my writing scores. But I'm convinced that this time.. (This time!) I'll make an effort. I'll put more work, more care into it. It won't be simply a random stream of thoughts.. (Maybe I shouldn't promise that here..so soon..)

I've always tried to keep a diary, but I've never been able to keep it up. For one, I hate writing, physically. It cramps my hand, my script gets messier and uglier, less legible.. and I always seem to give up on my hand before my head is completely empty. So I guess that's where this blog comes in. I want to record my life, before I'm sixty years old and wondering what I did in my twenties.

I just realized that I started the last five paragraphs with "I".

Anyway, an update.

I've been here in Korea for about 7.5 months know. It's insane. I feel like I've been here for years. forever. But at the same time, I can remember how it smelled in the hotel I was staying in my first week here. I remember my first few weeks in my new officetel, eating rice and side dishes my aunt made for me. Time flies and crawls by at the same time. What an enigma.

During month 4 and 5, I had some serious homesickness. I missed my room, my house, my family, my friends.. my church, the mexican restaurant next to my church.. (Nachos special with rice and onions...) I was sick of Korea: the food, the weather. the language barrier, the cultural differences. everything. I just wanted to be home, back in familiar surroundings.. eating food that I missed.. produce that was cheap.. on an on and on.. and now I just sound like I'm ranting.

I've come to grow complacent, I think. I'm pretty content. Sure I have to travel an hour and a half by subway to get some cilantro, but at least it's here. Okay, so limes are a dollar each and avocados, four, but I can get them. I've learned to ignore the men who leer at you at night, the smell of soju on every man in the vicinity, once it's reached eight o'clock.. the vomiting.. the spit.. the smoking..

okay, maybe I haven't.

I need to rant: Korea seriously sometimes bugs me. Everyone, and I mean.. EVERYONE smokes. Men. Women. Grandfathers.. children... (i kid... but only half kidding. I know some of my students smoke. And if they don't, they're on their way) They smoke in restaurants. in bars. on the street. in the hallways. IN THE BATHROOMS. it drives me insane. I can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke, especially when it's being blown in your face by the person in the next booth at the bar or restaurant.. so to be in a nation that is united in its smoking habits is a bit frustrating.

Also, the drinking. It seems to be a national past time to eat chicken and drink beer and soju. And not even at night.. at like.. seven, eight o clock. And everyone gets pissed. They're stumbling.. throwing up.. spitting everywhere.. friends are hauling people home.. and I haven't even gotten off work yet. Did I mention I was thrown up on? (On a bus, coming home from a quick weekend trip with my coworkers.. maybe I'll recap it sometime. I'm trying to forget that moment in my life.. ) So yeah. the drinking here bugs me.

Also, I hate how judgmental Koreans are. They judge you on everything. Your clothes. Your food. Your shoes. Your job. Wearing a V-neck top? You must be a slut. (On the other hand, you can wear booty shorts in the dead of winter and be a normal, chaste Korean.) Oh, your bag's not LV? Obviously, you don't care about fashion. (Everything's knockoff anyway..) and they STARE. Koreans have no shame in staring. If they see an anomaly.. (bare shoulders.. a foreigner.. an overweight person..) they will straight up turn their bodies to stare at said anomaly until their eyes are satisfied.

Now, although I am writing and ranting about Korea as a whole, of course that is only one side of the picture. I have met some amazing, kind people. Coworkers, church friends, and others who have made it worthwhile to stay in the country.

And I love other things about this country. If you go a restaurant, 99% of the time, the service will be amazing. They will be attentive, courteous, kind. You almost never have to tip, and if you do, it's ten percent. included in the bill already. You can ride a taxi for a good ten minutes and pay 3-4 bucks. The internet is super fast, and I got a free cell phone with my plan that lets me watch tv, use the internet, and find my route on the subway.

I guess there's a balance to everything. The States. Korea.. they both have their ups and downs.

I guess as a first post to this blog, this introduction to Korea was appropriate. Now, seeing as how it's almost three in the morning and I have dishes to clean, I guess this will have to be it today.