I had a mild panic attack yesterday. I'm not exactly sure why, but I can tell you it was career related. I had a sudden overwhelming feeling that I was never going to get a job, that I was an idiot, and that I was going to live a short, meaningless life.. at home. At my parents' home. This was after receiving another rejection letter and applying for about eleven more jobs.
Thank goodness it was all over when I woke up this morning.
A few Sundays ago, I met the president of a hotel company at church. It was the time during service when they want you to meet the people around you, and he happened to be sitting next to me with his son. We introduced ourselves, he asked me what I did, and when he found out that I was a hospitality major who was still looking for a job, he offered to help me find one. He forwarded my resume to his director of HR, and I applied for a front desk position.
Now, I did not assume that just because I was a Christian, that he would hire me. However, I did assume that he would hire me because he would actually look at my resume and see that I was.. I don't know, normal? Someone with work experience? I kind of took this as my "Finally, I'm going to start working" thing. I assumed that within a week or two, I would have a job. But I got another rejection letter, and that's when my panic attack slowly started building up.
Honestly, I'm baffled. I don't know what it's going to take to get a job now. Apparently, you need five years of front desk experience to get a job at a front desk now, a position that I believe was, just a few years ago, an entry level position. For goodness sake, I had that job in high school! Surely a college graduate with a degree in the very same industry as aforementioned entry level position would be able to do the work. But apparently not. I don't know what to do.
I really didn't want this blog to become a documentary of my increasing insanity and frustration over unemployment. I'm sorry that it has.
On a completely different note, I'm taking my bartending test in a few hours. Finally! One week, I was out of town. The next week, I overslept. Last week, I forgot about it. So finally, a month after finishing my classes, I'm taking the test. Maybe I can get that job at the El Rey theater Jane was helping me with. I wonder if I got my TiPS certificate..
On another completely different note, I wanted to talk about money. Again. A few days after the disaster in Japan, I made a sizable donation to a Christian organization that was helping with relief. It was more than I was able to afford at the moment, but I felt good about it. When my dad found out about it, he didn't exactly say that it was stupid of me to do, but he sure implied it. He made comments about how Japan is one of the strongest economies in the world, that they would be able to take care of themselves, didn't I regret it, now that I have no more money in my account? And it made me feel stupid. Really stupid. I don't want to regret the decision that I made, but he sure seems to want me to.
Anyway, I'm sure that it was used for His glory.
I guess it's time to sleep.
