The home stretch.

This is it! One more month to go. Four more weeks of teaching, then I'm outta here. I'll finally get to go home to sunny Southern California, where I belong.

Although this term has been pretty smooth so far, I still can't wait for it to be over. Generally, I have pretty good students. I have a masters class of middle school students who are so intelligent and articulate that it amazes me that I'm their teacher. I love to talk about different subjects with them.. culture, global issues, kpop.. Sometimes I feel like they're my younger peers. I'm really going to miss that class.

On the other hand, I do have a class I can't wait to be finished with. A lower level middle school class, half the class is comprised of teachers'-worst-nightmares students. They don't work, they don't listen to what I say, I don't think they understand half of the words that come out of my mouth.. I found out today that 2 of my three worst students have dropped out and the third told me today that he was also quitting. Although I was relieved, (I'm sure my classes are going to run much more smoothly from now on) I was also disappointed that I'd, essentially, failed to turn them into capable students. But for now, I'm just going to breathe a sigh of relief that I won't be spending most of my classtime yelling at them or trying to talk over them.


I've been thinking about how much money I've saved over the last year, though I've been trying not to. The high pay we English teachers receive in combination with the relatively low cost of living here in Korea has allowed me to accumulate a nice little chunk of savings over the year without even trying. (Although, a pretty extravagant lifestyle in the first half of the year has left me with less than some others I know. Hehe.) But I've been planning on doing something I've never done before: tithing.

I've had jobs before, and I know I should've tithed before. But with the credit card debt I'd accumulated over my college years, plus making minimum wage, equaled my being too desperate to use every dollar I'd earned. I never set aside that tenth to lift up to God. But now, I suppose I've finally become a true full-time, working adult. I make a solid earning, and I'm planning to tithe for the first time at the church I've been attending in Seoul before I leave for the States.

After I tithe, and after I pay back my dad for a loan he made me a few years ago, I am going to have... a lot less money. I'm trying not to think about it. I know I'm not supposed to worry about money. I know that what I give to God, he will return to me many many times over, but I can't help but think in the back of my mind.. "Dang it.. I really wanted to go to Spain." or "I really wanted to eat at that restaurant.."

And so Lord, would you give me trust and assurance that I don't need to worry about money. Would you continue to watch over my pocketbook and help me not to be so materialistic. (haha) And would you help me to trust that you'll show me all of your creation in due time. Amen.


How did this turn from a post into my last month in Korea to a post about money? Hmm.

my familia.

(i like to change some words into spanish to make my titles seem cooler.)


I was reading a friend's blog post about her relationship with her mom and it made me want to cry. For two reasons:

1. My heart hurt for her and the pain she's felt over the years.

2. I missed my own mom and dad very much. And I realize how much they love and care for me.



I used to hate my mom. When I was growing up, she and I fought a lot.. I always ran to my dad for comfort and protection (literally.. ) and all of my friends were scared of her. Mostly, I think, because of stories I told them.. hehe..

However, as I've gotten older, and especially since I've lived outside of home, I've been able to take a step back and look at my mom and dad for who they are: two incredibly loving, supportive parents.

I should've known earlier how much they love me. Once when I was younger... I think I was in the second or third grade, my mom and I had gotten into a fight (over what, I have no idea) and I basically burst into tears and told her that she didn't love me. She burst into tears, grabbed me, and wrapped me into her arms, telling me how much she loved me. I think that was the first time I felt her love so... really? is that the word? It was real.

I've never had to worry about money. I've never had to worry about, really, anything in my life because I knew my parents were going to support me. They let me go to whatever school I wanted because of what I wanted to do. Even when I've made some incredibly idiotic mistakes in my life.. (some of which were very expensive) They've been been there to fix the problem for me. My dad used to sit by my side at night in high school when I couldn't sleep because of pain in my stomach.. for hours, into the morning.. then he would go to work. And not just one on occasion.. It was almost every night, for weeks.


I could go on and on. I have hundreds of stories of their love for me.. and I think being here in Korea has made me so much more appreciative of it. And not only because I'm far away from them, and I miss them. For another reason.

I've been experiencing Korean culture, and I'm not liking all of it. The drinking culture, the smoking culture, the hierarchy and respect thing.. It's all very disappointing to me. My rose-colored lenses about Korea are definitely shattered now. I've seen the typical, drunk Korean man and he's not a person I can gather much respect for. My father is the exact opposite of that. He doesn't drink or smoke. He shows his affection and love to me. He doesn't care that I don't speak to him formally, like some of my friends' parents do.. How could my parents have grown up in this environment and turned out the way they did? I don't know.


but in a word, how am I feeling?

Blessed.

back again..

I'm feeling sheepish. =]

I started this blog with the full intent that I would keep it up. Write frequently.. with a new start, i would have new energy.

obviously, that failed. haha so i apologize, but I am BACK and ready to update you all (all five of you!) on my recent adventures.

Many many moons ago, my friends here in Ansan left me.. Jamie.. Audrey.. Meagan, Tommy.. all of them. haha. And although I miss them all terribly and would much rather they be here with me, I'm happy to report that life hasn't sucked completely here in Ansan since. I've gotten to know my other coworkers a little bit better, and I have two new teachers to chill with. One's from LA (yay!) and the other is from Boston..? It's been pretty good.


(Oh! Jenn had left too! I was supposed to meet with her and Grace before she left, but I hadn't been feeling well that day and totally failed them. Sorry Jenn.. but we will meet again in LA. =] )


However, I still can't wait to go home!! TWO MORE MONTHS! I'm super excited. Although it still feels a little far away, I realize that I only have about 8 more weekends here. It's gonna go by in a flash. I was talking to my dad the other day, and he asked me "don't you want to do any more sightseeing in Korea while you have the chance?" and in my impatience to go home, i replied.. "there's nothing left to see. There's nothing to do here.. " but I realize there is.. in fact a lot of stuff I still haven't done here. (hehe.) Lately, I've been having a lot of free time because of cancelled classes.. and instead of going out to venture and sightsee, I've been kind of just lounging about.. wasting my time. I should take advantage of my new found free time.. but i do so hate to go around alone..

Today, I took a bike ride around Ansan lake park and the library.. After picking up a few books to help me pass the time, I took a ride around. I thought I had been to the lake park before, and I'm pretty sure I had, but the lake park I saw today was BEAUTIFUL. It's a lot bigger than I had thought, and it was my first time riding around in the day, and I saw more than I ever had before. I only wish I had my camera because it was such a lovely day.. The weather was wonderful, there was a nice breeze, and it was just.. nice. and peaceful. I sat on a bench and started reading in this beautiful weather, when an elderly couple sat on the bench next to me.. and pulled out their radio. -_- They ruined my peace. After enduring their k-pop for about ten fifteen minutes (yes, even the elderly here listen to kpop), i hopped on my bike as if i were going to leave. i rode about 100 meters away and sat on another bench and continued my reading. (haha i think they saw me too..)


i recently took a short (4 night) trip to Thailand. =] It was muchos fun. Left Sunday morning, arrived Sunday night.. spent monday alone, and Jamie arrived on Tuesday morning. It was pretty chill, did a lot of eating, some sightseeing.. if you want to know more, ask me. =]

I guess that's about it for now. I'm gonna go reread The Witch of Blackbird Pond.