I'm Stressed.

Sort of..

I was fine, up until about five hours ago. You see, About a month ago, I was named Head Instructor at my workplace.. (I think it's mostly because I can speak Korean and I probably won't fight the management..I don't really like to ruffle feathers..) But since receiving that post, it's been harder to do my job.

Let me explain.

In my very first week as HI, we received four new instructors. This means four new people who need to be trained, shown around the city.. They need bank accounts, they need cell phones.. internet.. they need to know how to sort their trash.. And if it was just left at that, that's fine. I can help them.. but then, it turns into.. they're having trouble with classroom management. They don't know how to discipline their kids. They don't know how to teach the material. Students are saying the classes are boring.

I don't even know how to fix those problems in my own classes.

Problem solving has never been one of my strong points. I don't think of myself as much of a creative thinker.. thinking outside the box. Coming up with good solutions to problems in my workplace. In the past month and a half, I've heard so many problems our workplace is having. Financial issues. Student Retention. Classroom Management. Ideas for Intensive classes. But I have no idea how to solve these issues, nor am I even sure I want to. Sure, I can spend hours watching CCTV (which is what I'm supposed to be doing..) to figure out what's wrong in someone's class. I can sit in my room and think of ideas to make money for the company and to keep our students enrolled. But partly due to laziness and partly due to my own inadequacy in dealing with these situations, I haven't given much thought to solutions.

I guess, though, that this is just like any other situation I'm bound to have in my career. This is a situation that needs a solution. Whether it's figuring out how to keep the students from quitting or how to get customers into the door, or how to keep a restaurant's food cost percentage low.. It's all problem solving. Using my under-exercised brain for once. Also, it's leadership. It's the leader who figures out how to fix things and helps to implement new plans. It's a trait I've got to learn some time or another.

So back to five hours ago. I was informed that certain teachers are getting more and more complaints that their classes are boring. They are writing in their daily reports that they're finding it very difficult to manage their students, and they don't know what to do. I was also told that starting next week, I would have to read each and every daily report, solve the problems with the individual teachers, then report back to management what action has been taken.

Also, as HI, I'm supposed to be watching videos of my teachers in class, then reviewing it with them, giving pointers and other feedback. I haven't even begun to do this. I guess I should start tomorrow.

I guess the enormity of the number of issues that I have to deal with is making me feel a little overwhelmed. And there's another thing. Past HI's have told me and continue to tell me not to let them take advantage of me. Don't do everything they say, just because they're management. Don't let them push me around. The problem is, how am I supposed to know what's within my duties as HI and what isn't? How am I supposed to know if it's something they're pushing onto me because they can, when so far everything sounds like it could reasonably be included in my job description?

Maybe it's my naivete.. Not being experienced enough.. Never thinking that such nice people could possibly take advantage of me. Maybe it's just a different work culture. Koreans are hard working people, after all. Maybe it's expected of me to put in all these extra hours, fixing these problems. Sometimes when people tell me not to do something, that it's not my responsibility, I can't help but think, "But it's okay. I don't mind helping out a little bit.. Maybe you're just negative."

I'm finding it harder and harder to distinguish between someone being knowledgeable about work or the world and them just being negative. So you say everyone at work is an idiot. They don't think. They're not fit for their jobs.. Is it them, or is it you? I really don't know.

So tomorrow, as I go in to work on a Saturday.. (sigh..) I guess I'll have to start figuring out for myself.

The tone of the first two posts in this blog so far haven't been very cheerful.. Hopefully that's about to change.

I'm not even sure if this post made any sense..